I am thinking about how time is infinitely divisible. How each moment stands alone but is also part of the unstoppable flow, a point but also a wave, like light...

And in spite of it all sometimes I catch myself out, thinking, was it worth it, all that pain and frustration, all that "wasted time"?

rooster crows over the field
echo ricochets through the valley: WHATEVER! !
WHATEVER! WHATEVER!
you-idiot-its-only-2am-the-sun-won't-be-up-for-hours -
WHATEVER!!
BRING IT ON.

(from my Tribe.net blog Sun, August 17, 2008 - 2:17 PM)

I am at Neith’s house on Galiano Island. Sitting on a deflated rubber dinghy in the dappled shade behind the potato beds and the echinacea. Neith’s laptop on my knees. Fig and Chestnut are chewing cud and they gaze at me with their odd reptilian eyes. Goats have such delicate lips.

Working as Event Manager for the upcoming Earth Day Celebration, I am besieged by phone calls from the blackberry defenders. They are legion...outraged that we are to pull blackberries out of Jericho Park...(i feel their pain), and the old people from the Quiet Society who call to demand how it is that I believe that AMPLIFIED MUSIC can co-exist with NATURE...and then the others, who just want to rant about Starbucks.

This putting-on-of-events thing is a trip.

It's a steep one, the learning curve of love: an asymptote alway reaching for the vertical axis but never quite, never just quite there.

THE WORLD is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;

My working passion is big “free” public projects – like The Commercial Drive Festival, and Momentum Magazine. People sometimes say things to me like, “you get so much done,” and this makes me laugh, because I’m really a lazy hedonist. The fact is that in order to accomplish what I want to do, I have had to learn how to ask for help...lots of it, and for "free." And I have noticed that the more help I get, the more “I” accomplish – and the more time I get to spend lying on the beach.

I was in Black Rock City, NV haggling over a bit of purple bridesmaid dress with a reno housewife at a free boutique, and all of a sudden Maria Mango walked up. She was carrying a ukelele and she sang, "love is sumthin' if you give it away, you keep on gettin' more.." And when that moment returned to my mind, what I remembered most was the ukelele.

Procreation Meditation

My period was almost three weeks late. It got me thinking.

Children are wonderful -- they make me laugh, they teach me, they blow me away. But in the known present I can't foresee that childbearing is the best way for me to serve my world (although i absolutely retain at all times the right to change my mind without prior notice). At 42 and childless I feel valued and cherished and sexy. I am healthy and as wealthy as I need to be.

Day out of Time - Yellow Cosmic Star

Set Time free to spin and spiral as it will.